The reason why mostly long distance relationships last even longer - it is more of the emotional attachment and not of the physical desires. -Rachanee Francisco
One Universe. Twelve Planets. One Earth. Hundreds of countries. Thousands of cities. Billions of people. To find the person, who will truly love you; whom you will love is a dream come true. It’s an answered prayer. But how if you met him but in a very complicated situation? How if he is thousands of miles away? Will you survive it? Will you survive a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP?
Is it easy? NO! Never, it is. Is it worth it? TOTALLY!
Long distance relationship. We have to admit it, it`s not easy. When you get into this kind of relationship, you must be MENTALLY prepared. You have to set in your mind how the situation will be. You must also win over temptations. There are times you will be tempted to cheat, to lie, so you must have the capability to control.Emotionally as well, it`s hard. You must not let your emotion take over you. Control. Control. Control. Readiness in physical terms. In LDR, sometimes, you have to sacrifice some things just to make time for your sweetheart. This usually happens to those couples who fell into different timezones. Missing the friends get-together so you would just stay home and talk to your partner. Sacrifice even the sleeping time. It’s really a long list of compilation. And because of the distance, you must know how to understand the situation, you can`t have the sweet bonding moments that lovers usually do. No chances to date. No chances to walk in the park while watching the sunset. No chances to eat together. No chances to watch movies together. No chances to go to beaches together. No kisses. No hugs. Nothing… Nothing but WORDS! But these words, especially when sincere, mean more than to those stuffs. Chat. Chat. Chat. Text messages, especially when unexpected mean a lot. Communication. This is the bridge that connects the two of you. They can make your day complete by doing so. So make it a habit, “One SMS a day, makes the sadness go away”.
One of the important ingredients of a LDR, PATIENCE. Patience in many ways. To wait for him to online, to be home from work or from school so you can talk. Even though you are his lover, it doesn’t mean his life is all for you, sometimes, you must be understanding that he needs to study, to spend time with his family and friends.
Support him and let him know you trust him. And lastly, be patient to wait for you to meet and be together in the future. Remember, great things come to those who wait. Without patience, LDR is in danger. We have no escape from longing to be with them, just be patiently waiting, and in the end, you will be glad you did.
FUTURE... Plan for your future. If you really love him, you must make him feel that you want to spend the rest of your life with him and that you want to grow old together. Set future plans. Talk about family. But when you promise something, make sure you’ll keep it forever.
Long distance relationship is like a letter W. It goes down, up, down but in the end, it goes up. It’s not easy, but if you are heart to heart, if it’s true love, no doubt, it will work. :) Set your goals. Give time and effort. Show love and care. Risk and fight for your love, even though there are people who are against the two of you, be brave to when everything is rough and tough. Stand up if you fall. And lastly, make God the center of your relationship. All these combined, you will have a long distance relationship that works. All the best to all of you.
“Distance never separates two hearts that are loyal to one another. Long distance is just a test how far love can travel.”
Long distance relationship is the hardest yet the most fulfilling type of relationship.
© Rachanee Francisco
By Bea Johnson for Yahoo! Southeast Asia
With the increase in travel and the pressures of taking work wherever you can find it, long-distance relationships are becoming more common nowadays. The fundamental thing to remember when embarking on this type of relationship is to agree on a plan from the very beginning, and commit to it. You will both need to set out your priorities, and agree on them, if you are going to last.
Relationship expert Jennifer Sutherland believes long distance relationships can actually be very healthy for a relationship. “They allow the individual a chance to develop their own relationships and ambitions independently of a partner. They also create a longing for each other.” However, in order for it to be successful, Sutherland advises that the couple has to have spent enough time together to have created a strong foundation in order to cope with the separation. “This will avoid any unrealistic idealization and expectations of partners.”
If you or anyone you know is struggling with a long-distance relationship, here are four other tips to help make the relationship go the distance.
1. Establish boundaries and be honest.
Before one of you makes the life changing move to another place, be it two hours away or across the globe, make sure you are clear on what relationship you will be maintaining. This is imperative in order to avoid misunderstandings and heartache later. If you’re not yet married, establish whether you are going to be exclusive or non-exclusive and be honest about it. Setting agreed boundaries will allow both of you to work within them when you are apart, and should leave you with the confidence of knowing that you are both on the same page.
2. Agree on an end goal.
Before embarking on a long distance partnership, it is very important to agree on how long the separation is going to last—this can be six weeks, six months, a year or more, but you both need to be able to look forward and plan your lives accordingly. If you cannot see an end in sight, it might be time to re-think it, or you could both end up frustrated and unhappy.
Joanna and Ned* lived together in Malaysia for two years in a happy and committed relationship, and when Ned was moved abroad for work, Joanna assumed she would join him. However, her visa was denied, and they are now living 13 hours apart with no intention of breaking up, but no idea how long their separation will last. Ned explains: “We both feel it is worth waiting to be together, but it is horrible not knowing how long we will have to live like this for.”
3. Make time for each other.
As Ned and Joanna have found out, you will need to prepare yourself for a lot of over-the-phone and online communication. “We’ve both invested in good headphones, and installed Skype, and we make time for each other, even if it is only a few minutes a day,” says Joanna. Install a webcam and a software in your computer that will allow you to make free calls, and switch to a good phone plan with unlimited long distance minutes. You will also need to agree on how often you are going to talk. If you are not in agreement, one of you can end up feeling ignored and unhappy, and you’ll start drifting apart.
“The real difficulty we have found has been the time difference,” says Ned. “When Joanna is waking up, I am in the middle of my work day, and usually too stressed for chit chatting, and when I am going to bed, she is busy and out running errands, so it can be really hard to find time to talk.” But no matter how hard it is, schedule time to chat and treat these calls as important as a business meeting or an appointment.
4. Keep yourself busy.
This is one of the down sides of being apart, especially if you were used to spending a lot of time together. Tim* suffered when Clara* moved away. “I was used to spending my weekends with Clara, and when she moved away I suddenly found I had all this spare time. When we’d speak, she would be having a great time, going out, seeing the sights, meeting new people, and I felt neglected and resentful. It put a huge strain on our relationship.”
Keeping yourself busy and happy is the best way to keep your partner interested, as they will look forward to speaking to you, instead of dreading the next onslaught of bickering and recriminations.
Last but not least, when you finally do get to see each other again, don’t set your expectations too high or be disappointed if it isn’t all roses and fireworks immediately. It can be awkward when you first see each other after a while, so remember that you have been living separate lives, and be patient as you learn how to re-connect.
Not too long from now, we’ll kiss this distance goodbye. Just keep holding, my Dear.
“This long distance is killing me - but love will keep us alive.”